maybe he is just awkward. is he unattractive? does he smell bad? it is cruel to just brush him off & not give him a chance. yes, he may be clingy but what if he is lonely &…
This kind of dominating behaviour is not acceptable, but what disturbs me even more is how *other* people justify this by guilt-tripping the victim.
One time a guy at work asked me out. I didn’t know him that well & wasn’t attracted to him so I said “thanks, but no thanks”. He was okay about it, really. Embarrassed, but okay. We say “hi” in passing occasionally, but he pretty much avoids me now. But…
At the time I felt awkward. I really don’t get asked out often; like twice in a lifetime so far. So I tweeted about it. Almost instantly I got a reply; a guy complaining that he got rejected by a girl… And that it sucked.
Of course it sucked… So what?!
What was I supposed to do? Say ‘yes’ to make an unknown third party feel better?! We all have the freedom of choice. There is no law that says you are obliged to go on a date just because someone plucked up the courage to ask.
Yes, it’s scary! I know that terrifying, heart-wrenching, stomach-churning sensation of self-doubt! But I also knew there was a risk of being rejected - and if that happened, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to guilt trip him about it!! And I like to think that if he’d said “thanks, but no thanks” then no stupid girl would have guilt-tripped him about it afterwards.